The Heap

I chose this poem for my first post under Lost In Words because I still feel the emotion that went into it. I remember writing it, and the struggle I felt with trying to get out all these things that were buried in me.

The Heap

The rocks in my stomach 
Threaten to come up somehow,
And I know I can't stop the pain.

The pressure builds in my core,
The weight of it crushing my pit,
And I don't know if I can handle all of it.

The rocks, I feel, tare up my throat
The jagged edges making me choke,
And I know I will never speak again.

There's blood rushing out of the tares,
The liquid blocking my air.
I know I won't survive...

This devastation -
This absolute loss of salvation.
I can only see the darkness,
For I am completely blinded by this.

The rocks fall out of my mouth and onto the floor,
There seems to be nothing but more
And I crumble in the pile of my mess.

There is nothing left of me.
Turned inside out by what was buried in me, 
I'm now just a part of the heap.

©S.T. Jun. 26, 13

About The Author

In Marilyn Manson’s I Want To Disappear, he sings “I’m a million different things, not one you know.”  For a long time, I kept held back on fully expressing myself.  Now, it is my time to share all my million different things.  Welcome to The Book Of Sara, where you will see me for all that I am.

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been writing.  I wrote in journals, in forms of poetry, and created role-playing stories with friends in school.  In major times of angst and depression, writing was my savior.  Writing isn’t just apart of my life, it is my life; it’s what I live through.

As my strongest form of communication and expression, I am glad to have finally found a place where my writing and I belong.  Here in this blog, I hope to share my poetry, personal story, and other interests.  I want to share what writing has done for me in my life, in hopes that doing so will do for others what it does for me.

My name is Sara, and I’m finally doing what is really me.

If You’re Expecting Something…

Writing has always been apart of my life.  It’s the shoulder I rest my head on; the thing I share my thoughts, feeling, decisions, and desires with; the creative outlet that helped me express myself; the personal journals I discovered myself in.  It grew up with me, and I with it.

I’m not exactly sure what people should expect from this blog.  My goal is to simply connect to readers on a deeper, more personal level.  I can only hope to achieve that by writing about what I’ve come to love, experience and learn.

P.S.

Check out the welcome page for descriptions of the different categories I created for this blog.

S.T. Jan. 28, 17